Analysis of How not to spice up your marriage
After 40 years of marriage that's really been a chore
I found my hubby wishing for 40 ruddy more
So I thought I'd make an effort to try and spice things up
As I took my false teeth out and I placed them in a cup
So next day I went shopping and bought my self a book
Twas called the karma sutra I thought I'd take a look
A quick trip to the sex shop to buy some other stuff
Somethings from the bargain box I thought should be enough
Back home and with a coffee the pages I did scan
To find a new position for me and my old man
I found one called wheelbarrow and I could see just why
It didn't look too difficult for us to have a try
So I popped into the bedroom to don my sexy gear
A leather Basque with spikes on that went from here to here
I couldn't afford the sexy boots so would have to improvise
A pair of wilfys waders that came up to my thighs
Waddling out the bedroom a whip in my right hand
I hoped my evening fun would go just as I had planned.
I called our wilfy over to get him into place
But I tripped upon his Zimmer and he landed on his face
As I bent to help him I heard an awful split
As the basque that I was wearing released a compressed tit
Hubby was now laughing as I tried a sexy dance
I was sure if I continued that he would wet his pants.
So feeling all deflated and no longer in the mood
I proceeded to the kitchen to go and get some food
Twas then I heard the door go, imagine my surprise
With all the family stood there I couldn't believe my eyes
The kids had all decided a party they would throw
To celebrate our wedding day 40 years ago.
And that is way my family from now will always knock
Cos seeing me in that state has left them deep in shock.
Scheme | AABBCCDDEEFFGHIIJJKKLLMNOOIIPPQQ |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 101110110101 11110101101 11111110110111 11111110111001 1111110011101 110101111101 0111011111101 110101111101 1101010010111 1101010110111 111110011111 11011100111101 1110101111101 0101111111111 110010101111110 011110111111 1101010111 1111011111111 1110110111011 111011100110111 111111111101 10111110010011 1011101110101 11111010111111 11010100110001 10101010110111 1111011010101 110100111100111 011110010111 11010101101 0111110011111 1101011111101 |
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 1,677 |
Words | 355 |
Sentences | 4 |
Stanzas | 1 |
Stanza Lengths | 32 |
Lines Amount | 32 |
Letters per line (avg) | 41 |
Words per line (avg) | 11 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 1,315 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 351 |
About this poem
This has been written to celebrate my upcoming 40th wedding anniversary but in my usual comedic style I discover the wrong way to celebrate.
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"How not to spice up your marriage" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/182359/how-not-to-spice-up-your-marriage>.
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