My Memory

My memory is in the closet
Up on a shelf
Back in the corner
Unseen and unknown
Kept from the world
In a box
In the dark
Out of sight

My memory is of a room
With a door
And four walls
A bed and a desk
It is a hideaway
From life
From the world
From myself

My memory is about a feeling
Of constent turmoil
Of endless struggles
Of conflict and despare
Of quiet self-hatred
Of sadness
And Loneliness
With silent tears

My memory contains a board
With chess pieces and squares
And music playing
To clear my mind of thoughts
So I may not think
Nor feel
Nor want
Nor deserve

My memory is from a time
When I suffered alone
Let no one near me
To not see my truth or know my secret
I chose the need
To seclude
To hide
To withdraw

My Memory is of a past
That haunts my present
That I must keep from my future
So in the closet it stays
Kept from the world
In a box
In the dark
Out of sight