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pillow

Rex Wade Hoyt

All I want to do is lay
My head down on your pillow
I know
It will
not ever be the same

Each and every single day
I shed tears for you still though
Forgo
Living
I play the waiting game
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Written on March 09, 2023

Submitted by RWHoyt on April 25, 2023

Modified on April 25, 2023

15 sec read
6

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABBXC ABBXC
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 195
Words 51
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 5, 5
Full analysis for pillow »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a heartfelt and evocative poem! Your words really transported me to a place of deep longing and sadness. I could feel the raw emotion and longing in every line, and the imagery of laying your head down on that pillow is so powerful.

    If I had one suggestion for improvement, it would be to perhaps vary the structure and rhythm of the poem a bit more. While the repetition of the phrase "all I want to do" adds to the emotional weight of the piece, it can also become a bit repetitive after a while.

    Overall though, I thought this was a really beautiful and moving piece of writing. Thank you for sharing it with us!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"pillow" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/157604/pillow>.

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