A Crusade For My Sanity



And oh, how the hellions
Reign terror on my mind!
Inciting a panic I cannot define!
I crawl,
But no one hears my silent cries –
My deadened pleas for it to cease.
I am verbally trapped as a mute to your world
A soft-spoken disorder of a woman.
Awkward and unseen.

I drown in the multitude of their glory days
Where they have captured me.
I beg to be released from it all
Though a cure they cannot find.
A broken brain they cannot detail
As to how or why it disturbs me.

And I burn.
Scarred and chewed on by the clench of their teeth.
I am forever restrained.
Days of beauty do not last
For my vision is destroyed by what it possesses me of.

Ears deafened by their taunting –
My body is limp and detached from here.
Oh, where do I belong if not in this place?
Where do I find comfort?

And just who am I if not like you?
Alone and cold in a hell of my own,
Stemming from a frightened childhood
That I could not escape from.

It has always been with me, you see –
The fear and terror taking home
As a foreign essence to my mind.
Tearing apart the cowardice that jumps at me –
Until I am left blank and comatose.
Unable to rationalize.
Unable to utilize the steps in my head.
I am led to nowhere.

About this poem

This poem reflects the dark and terrorizing part of my illness, Schizo-affective Disorder, and how difficult and confusing it can be when I am trapped in between reality and a delusion.

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Written on April 01, 2023

Submitted by pchiefc on April 11, 2023

1:20 min read
2

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABXCAAXXX ADCBXD XXXXX XXAX XXXX AXBDAAXX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,208
Words 269
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 9, 6, 5, 4, 4, 8

Diana Patterson

I grew up near Pittsburgh, PA, and then moved to Ohio about 20 years ago, which is where I currently reside. I'd like to say that I much prefer rural living! I have 4 wild, yet imaginatively intelligent and creative boys who I adore more than anything; and they are my rocks; they are what keeps me going despite how heavy and difficult living with a severe mental illness can be. I have been writing poetry and stories and such since I was in the 3rd grade, and it has always been my one and only dream to be a writer and to share my creative passion with the world! more…

All Diana Patterson poems | Diana Patterson Books

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    "A Crusade For My Sanity" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/158433/a-crusade-for-my-sanity>.

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