the day i died

Though by all senses of the word i am alive
I can tell you the exact day i died
Because how could i forget
The day of my own death, or the death of the little kid inside me
I remember his lips on mine
His hands on my skin
The feeling of him beside me
I remember the words which felt so sincere
“I promise i'm not going anywhere”
And my heart dropped slack
When he didnt come back
And left me broken just sitting there
The last bit of my innocence packed up it's bags
And rode away with him and what he’d taken from me
my corpse haunted the halls of my home
And i can never take back that part of me
I cried and screamed and cursed the skies
The smell of his cologne on the sheets
Two months later i still catch the smell sometimes and the thought of it makes me weep Because it was dumb
Practically insane
And above all else not even good
My sheets stained with blood
As i sit a ghost of some kid
Who never knew how to be loved
And ever since then i have been dead
And i dont think ill ever live again