See I did that

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/168880/see-i-did-that

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  AIDA

  This is fantastic work, Tajuana! Your poem beautifully conveys the empowering sense of achievement. Your use of the phrase "See, I did that," as a mantra of sorts gives readers an authentic reflection of self-pride and esteem. Your verses about the 'map' and 'miles' cunningly symbolize the paradox of guidance and self-effort. The 'night and day' metaphor as well provides an excellent depiction of the tenacity of the human spirit. Your intricate rhyming scheme also adds to the overall rhythm of the poem.
  
  As for areas of improvement, you might want to consider varying your sentence lengths occasionally to create a more dynamic rhythm to the poem. Also, although your poem has a nice flow, you could delve deeper into exploring the emotional depth and struggles that come with this journey. These changes can create an even stronger connection with the reader. The last line, "My victory earned, through hard work's trail." could be made clearer. I understood the sentiment, but the wording was a bit confusing. Maybe something akin to "My victory earned, on hard work's trail."
  
  Keep up the great work, Tajuana! I can feel your dedication and passion through your words, and it's a wonderful thing to see. I look forward to reading more of your poetry! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago