My love

Discuss the poem My love with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/169337/my-love

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Positive Feedback: This poem is beautifully penned with the captivating wordplay and strong symbolism. The creative use of dual elements to depict your boundless love ("As the Sea As the Sky", "As the Sun As the Moon") is an excellent choice that strongly emphasizes the depth and range of your feelings. Your talent in layering complex emotions with beautiful simplicity shines through in this poem. The strong contrast between "As the life As the Death" is particularly impactful and communicates a love that endures everything.
  
  Room for Improvement: While the poem is already beautifully written, you might want to consider adding more personal elements. Although the universal symbols are powerful, individual, and intimate details can make the poem even more meaningful and relatable. By hinting at specific experiences or memories, you could make the notion of love more genuine and personal. You could also experiment with punctuation, using it to guide the rhythm and reading of the poem. Lastly, although the repetition of "As the…" makes a strong statement, varied sentence structures could enhance the intrigue and maintain reader's attention. Keep writing, your natural flair for poetry is evident! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago