People and Places I'll Never See Again

People and Places I’ll Never See Again

The day I’ve been dreading has arrived
My heart has often stopped
 thinking it was time
But this is real.

The day I’ve been wishing would never come
Even though it is unavoidable
I am unsure how I feel
My eyes aren’t filled with tears
The full blow won’t hit me till later
The bruise will never heal.

I’m scared to feel anything
What if it’s too much?
I’m not ready though I’ve been preparing
I’m scared to feel.
I want to run away from it all
Go to before.
I know I am bound for an uneasy slumber
My thoughts dark and limber
Now I am lost and scared
I’ve officially reached the other side
To life without you.
I do not know what to do
Do I live like you?
Do I walk prouder because I hold a piece of you?
Do I act meeker because I can never live up to you?
Oh what do I do?

I opened up my bible
For the first time in a while.
I might never be “Christian enough”
But because you believed in that stuff
I believe it to.
I’ll ignore my doubts
My desire to see you much more intense.

So I will strengthen in my faith
For the chance to see you again.
There was a reflection of Jesus in your eyes
And now I want that reflection too
To connect to you.

Maybe I’ll live more like you
I’ll give and give and try not to take.
I’ll work hard like you.
I’ll laugh like you.
I’ll be kind like you.
I’ll talk like you.
I’ll love like you.
I’ll do anything to be closer to you.

Our connection doesn’t end with your departure from this earth.
I have your last name.
I have your eyes.
I have your work ethic.
I have your love of cattle.
I have bits and pieces of you scatted all over.
I have your love in my heart.

I wanted to leave first
So I wouldn’t have to carry on without you.
Because truly now what do I do?
I hardly felt like I had enough time
And now I have none.
I know this is all part of God’s plan
Yet I hate being in the dark.

I’ll be a fighter much like you
I’ll never let this twisted world get the best of me.
I’ll keep going even when the odds aren’t in my favor.
I won’t let the world get to me.
I will make you proud.
You’re still as much in my future as my past.

You lived a long life and for that I’m glad
You’ve never been one to back away from a challenge.
But you were in a lot of pain
And Now you’re no longer in pain.
You lost your first and second love
And now you’re reunited with your love at last.
So I’m happy for you
Despite the bitter hurt.

Had I known that was the last time I’d ever see you
I would somehow someway expressed my love and gratitude more zealously!
But now you’re officially on my list
Of people and places I’ll never see one more time.