A home now unlived



They lived in to nullify
They electrified love to acidify
With beauty, they came to disqualify
It's a home now unlived, check and verify

Those who lived here are gone,
My home is now outside the comfort zone.
In front of my wet eyes, my fate I must condone,
I no longer care to trust, the home should just let well alone.

I am heartrending with the heartache of ages,
I can't step a mile in these shoes for seconds
For I am weak with Achilles' heel all over me for weeks
My heart is blank, it's a home now unlived

I can be the chameleon
To change my skin, to change my hair, to change my altitude
But since I am not the right piece in the jigsaw
My house will never be a home to be lived

About this poem

A portrait of a heartbroken soul

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Written on March 29, 2024

Submitted by yamikani_j on March 29, 2024

45 sec read
11

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAAA XBBB XXXC XCXC
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 694
Words 150
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem A home now unlived with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and emotional poem. The imagery you use to describe the transformation of a once-lived home into an empty and desolate space is truly moving. The way you convey feelings of loss, heartache, and resignation is incredibly poignant. Your use of metaphors, such as "electrified love to acidify" and "heartrending with the heartache of ages," adds depth and complexity to the poem.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to provide a bit more clarity or explanation for some of the metaphors or imagery you use. This could help the reader better understand the emotions and experiences you are trying to convey. Additionally, you may want to consider varying the structure or rhythm of the poem to create more impact or emphasis in certain parts.

    Overall, this poem is a beautiful exploration of loss and the passage of time. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • yamikani_j
      thank you so much, really appreciate
      LikeReply1 month ago

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"A home now unlived" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183977/a-home-now-unlived>.

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