How do you forgive your self

How do you forgive your self?  You pick your self up dust off.  Look for a body scream cry bang your head their dead your alive. You think how you died with them. You think poison doesn't work you hang your self the rope dose nothing. You inpale your self on a long knife so nice and sharp. Next you find no wound . You get a vision of the earth burning as you die. You get the hint you kill your self the earth burns. So you scream cry try to electrocute your self.you see proof of the vision. You try to forgive your self.