GRAVITY 101

In my mind I have written this a thousand times, in as many days as we have been apart. With it I have died a thousand deaths, felt the cut of a thousand knives slicing over my body. Even as time slows the stabs, the wounds fester and ache. Nothing seems to comfort or relieve me. No words of understanding or compassion can end the misery and loathing I feel. The ravenous animals obsession, jealousy, lust and love have devoured all of these from me. I am left a shell of the man I was.

Every song in some way reminds me of you. I wonder about what was, what happened and what might have been. In the blackness of night, the engine hums the road rumbles beneath my feet, I see you in front of me. Not a moment can pass that will free me from your memory, the sleepless nights lend themselves to the tired drive into the countryside. As the weight of my heart pulls me down and closes my eyes I can feel your lips against mine, your hair in my hands, a glisten in your eyes I once saw, that gave me power to wake and face the day. Gravity releases me, I float away from the ground in this moment I pray for the end, swift and painless. Free to be forever alone in my perfect world you, my visions of love. If I knew it would be true, I would never hesitate to turn the wheel and go to this place.

The day I first saw you I knew it was over. In my heart I knew you could never love a man like me. I was heading for heartbreak the entire time. Just as the moth flies perilously into the flame, feeling the heat it cannot resist the desire to be close to the light, taking pleasure in its warmth, it is certain death! I too could not stop myself from wanting you, and like the moth, I would perish from my desires.