Toilet Seats
Robert William Service 1874 – 1958
While I am emulating Keats
My brother fabrics toilet seats,
The which, they say, are works of art,
Aesthetic features of the mart;
So exquisitely are they made
With plastic of a pastel shade,
Of topaz, ivory or rose,
Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,--
(They must, I fear, be very cold).
But Tom's have thermostatic heat,
With sympathy your grace to greet.
Like silver they are neon lit,
Making a halo as you sit:
Then lo! they play with dulset tone
A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats
I would not sing of toilet seats,
But rather serenade a star,--
Yet I must take things as they are.
For even kings must coyly own
Them as essential as a throne:
So as I tug the Muse's teats
I envy Tom his toilet seats.
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 19, 2023
- 44 sec read
- 141 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | AABBCCDD EEFFGGHX XAIIHHAA |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 734 |
Words | 146 |
Stanzas | 3 |
Stanza Lengths | 8, 8, 8 |
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"Toilet Seats" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/32708/toilet-seats>.
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