Symmetry60
  Gold Member

I've done the same by omitting punctuation I felt might stutter an otherwise flowing cadence. I do it with the word "too" at times when it's mid-sentence. It's too distracting to the eye at times. I'll also capitalize certain words for pertinence' sake when need be - "Mom, Dad, Sir, Earth, etc.

In any regard, another masterclass by you, sir. more »

My life is so boring now that it's leveled out for sure. I'm a walking snooze fest. Not complaining mind you. It's by design. I prefer silence these days. I'm sure your life's been more eventful than mine. LoL more »

Excellent piece of writing, Kristy. Lucky man to have a woman as talented and caring enough to write about him.

No need to remove it. Not that we're able to even if we wanted as there is no delete feature for removing comments that I know of, which is frustrating as there have been many in the past I wanted to remove but couldn't. We need to let administration know we'd like a "delete" feature. I've no issue whatsoever with your comment though. more »

Thank you very much, LX. I feel that those who risk life and limb to protect our freedoms deserve to be recognized. Stay cool. :-)

Apologies, but I must make clear as I have done on other poem I've written - this poem is not autobiographical in nature but rather written first person only to lend an emotional, firsthand feel to it. Never would I assume a role I have never undertaken. For this I apologize for any misunderstanding. My friend Randy, on this site, has served and he is deserving of the accolade, but I am not. I have made this clear in the foot notes of others I've written in this genre. For as much as I wanted to be a Marine, I could not due to medical conditions. I write for the sake of the brave men and women who sacrifice life and limb for those of us who have not, or could not, serve. Thank you for the kind words in regard to the poem itself, but the remaining accolade goes to men like Randy who are the true heroes. ;-) more »

Good heavens, man! I don't know whether to toss my pen into the sea or cry like a little girl. Something about this invoked a sense that I've lived before to experience what you've written. Do you ever feel like you carry some memory of a past life? I feel, at times, like I do. It's odd.

Talk about crescendo:
"Oh, go back Fate to purer days --
When light refulgent filled the skies;
When Troy knew spring, and I knew love;
When joy fell soft from Helen's eyes.

You have writing right down to the dash, hyphen, semicolon, apostrophe, comma, period and so on. I note the use of capitalization on certain terms to denote a significance to the word, a la, "Fate." You understand the use of possessives such as, "Helen's eyes," with an apostrophe referring to her eyes. I get very particular about this myself right down to the comma following the word "Oh" used as an exclamatory. Such sticklers we be. LoL

WRITE...A....BOOK!!! more »

Beautiful piece of writing, LX. This is a great self-appraisal, as well as praising to our higher power. That is always a good thing. :-)

Choked me up making me think about my mother who I miss dearly. Thank you for sharing your heart, friend.

I told Kaytee this some time ago and that for as terrified as I was to dance fast in school, I was DRAGGED onto a dance floor when I was old enough to go to clubs by a woman who lived in my hometown, Debbie Labatte, who MADE ME DANCE FAST! I was horrified, but she literally dragged my ass onto the floor. It was a club in Methuen Massachusetts that I cannot remember the name of right now. Surprisingly, I was pretty good as Debbie kept pointing out. *nudge nudge wink wink* I think she had more in mind than dance. LOL! I could probably dance because I'd been a drummer for 20 years and had good natural rhythm. From that night on I went on a tangent for years dancing my ass off. At a club in Hampton New Hampshire, called Demitiri's, me and a woman won a dance contest. Dancers in the club chose the top 3 each week. At the end of the summer those couples could go back for a dance-off to win $$$. I never went back because the woman was a one-off that I didn't know. I learned to dance quite well over the years and had many a fun time with the ladies who, as you said, love men who can dance. I miss the club life, but sort of don't either -- too much drinking and drugs. It's fun to reflect back to those days though. We had SO much fun. more »

Holy hell! This is a like a biography of my youth but for the fact that her name was Christine. I was always horrified to dance fast throughout my school years. I would only dance slow. I'd seen my white bread friends dance fast and it looked so awkward and unappealing that there was NO WAY I was going to look that cornbread cracker. So many dances with Christine in High School. She made the mistake of mentioning the hickey she'd given me at a dance that I'd forgotten about until her reminder at a class of 81 cookout. If you know anything about me, you also know that was the topic of discussion for all every time someone new rolled up on me. Poor Christine was SO embarrassed. I told her, YOU are the one who brought it back to MY attention. Everyone with ears heard that story that day. Man did I love that girl. Also, as God as my witness, the only time I was ever beaten wrestling in gym class was when my uncle, the gym teacher, made me wrestle two guys back-to-back. I was so tired from whooping Mark Twomey that I let Danny Gleason have his way with me. Apparently, good, ole Uncle Leo had gotten tired of me beating everyone and thought I needed to be humbled. I love this poem, man. Brought me straight back if ya hadn't noticed. LOL! more »

Here is the comment I left on his poem. You can see why I opted for the one I did. LoL -- "
Beautiful writing. And that my name is used only makes the decision easier. Well done. ;-)"

What I voted for.

I commemorate him here where he laysStilled, in a room apart from the wailingRuined, born under runes of misfortune.A bird from the sill alights into flight,While high in the blue bright, her winged kinCartwheel joyfully as his spirit joinsTheir swell, delaying Heaven for a day,Perhaps a night. Among the plebeiansHe sees a hapless “Steves,” his happinessUtterly forsaken, though he be not.If the ceiling be uncovered to sightA hovering Russ, the knots of sorrowIn his heart could be undone, utterly.A plot of grief should hold a hope like gold,Not ash, as if hope lie dashed. Sting these wordsInto the tombstones. Let them gleam, glisten.Listen to Steve sing, then dance your answer. more »

As for this particular poem - I'm convinced that you are incapable for writing bad poetry. This is a masterpiece. I thought, as I read it, that it might be yours what with the simplicity of the subject matter and the complexity and depth of thought with which it was composed. That your poetry is visually pleasing as well lends a professionalism few others incorporate.

You are the one that makes others want to write better poetry. In fact, this poem is light years better than mine was. I'm simply trying to line my pockets with $$$ and so am trying to write more eye-to-eye in terms of what others might cling to in terms of relatability. That is the only reason my poem placed 3rd where yours should have probably been 1st or 2nd. You're too good and that terrifies some writers but makes me want to practice more. Hence, as I've realized since being a member that the best written pieces don't always make the grade as per cashola lest you be top 3 on the regular as per your God-given prowess. more »

*Hand on bible* I swear that THIS poem was top two for me. I went back and forth, as many of us do, with this one and chose one other for a specific reason, which I iterated in the comment section of his poem when I voted. See if you can figure out the reason that I, "Steve," would have opted the way I did. Poem link I voted for below.

February 17th, 2023/3rd Iteration by Steven Golden (poetry.com) more »